NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He better not be in your backpack
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
