fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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