So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
