oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
