I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
