hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
