These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
