My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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