There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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