16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
