we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
