I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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