I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
