my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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