so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
