used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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