I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I am naked and annoyed.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
