I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
