Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
