Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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