oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
