Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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