it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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