he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
