Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
