Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
