Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
