I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
