I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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