if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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