We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
