I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
