Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
where am i from again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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