smell my finger.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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