i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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