I can't breathe out the right side of my face
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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