Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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