Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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