Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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