Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
