If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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