i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i think im in europe. pls send help
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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