this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
