you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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