Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
