Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
