I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i don't like sucking hair
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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