i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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