yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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