Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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