You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
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Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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