My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
