1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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