Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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