just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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