I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It was confusing and full of hummus
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
