i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
