i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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