Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He shit in the fireplace
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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