how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
