this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Blood and glitter go together right?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
